Written by Piyush Pandey
Kareeb and Satya released in July 1998. One was a hit; the other a flop. Shabana’s career was at stake. ‘We were both living in the vicinity but at different addresses. We kept meeting. Sometimes I would stay back at Shabana’s place and sometimes she would stay back at mine, especially when we had a party.’
Around the same time, Manoj and his team started planning to make a film based on the play Netua. Manoj and Shabana were finalized for the lead roles, but somehow it didn’t materialize.
Manoj and Shabana married many years later, but they had committed to each other long ago. That’s why Shabana had arranged for a meeting between Manoj and her family. Manoj had also started giving signals to his family. When Manoj’s sister Poonam became a mother, Shabana came with a gift on behalf of Manoj. Shabana also visited Belwa village on the occasion of the wedding of Manoj’s youngest sister, Garima, which took place on 10 March 1999. ‘I took Shabana to my village. My youngest sister was getting married. I made her meet everyone. It was also the time when the shooting for Shool (1999) was underway.’
Shabana and Manoj met soon after the success of Satya. (Photo: Manoj Bajpayee/Instagram)
‘When Shabana came to participate in the wedding, their relationship became official. Manoj bhaiyya asked me to make her a part of every ritual. “She is a Muslim, and it shouldn’t seem like we are discriminating against her,” he told me. So, she participated in everything. She visited the temple too with us for the prayer service. In fact, when we visited Mumbai, it was Shabana who showed us around,’ says Poonam.
It wasn’t easy for a man from a traditional Brahmin family in Bihar to marry a Muslim girl, but everyone was aware of Manoj’s persistent nature. The late Radhakant Bajpayee told me, ‘We didn’t say anything regarding marriage because this is how it happens in the film world.’
‘My family might have been worried about Shabana’s religion, but nobody expressed it openly. They didn’t show any sadness either. On the other hand, Shabana’s family was open and progressive. They were not opposed to interfaith marriage and they had made that abundantly clear.’
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Harsh Chhaya was one of the close friends with whom Manoj had spoken about the possibility of a life with Shabana. Manoj took Shabana to meet Harsh and Shefali on Diwali. ‘Manoj forbade me from calling many people as he was bringing Shabana for the first time. I couldn’t say anything as it was about Shabana. We have been close friends, so I was a bit hurt when I got to know of Manoj’s wedding in the newspapers,’ says Harsh.
Whatever be the reason behind it, Manoj and Shabana married in such haste that even Manoj’s parents couldn’t attend it. His late mother told me, ‘We knew about Manoj and Shabana, but the wedding was planned suddenly. We had been to Mumbai a few days before his wedding to see his house. He didn’t talk about marriage even then. Then he suddenly said that he was getting married. We asked him to have the wedding in the village, but he didn’t agree to it.’
Manoj and Shabana were living together for a long time before they got married. They were very committed to each other from early on in their relationship. The need to legalize their relationship arose when they applied for a home loan. Shabana, in an interview with Ajay Brahmatmaj, said, ‘Our families had accepted us. Now it was up to us to get married. Should I tell you why we got married? We had gone for a loan. The bank officer said we couldn’t get the joint loan because we were not married. Other issues were also there in which a marriage certificate was needed. We were anyway going to get married, but such things increased the necessity. We thought even people ask bizarre questions, so let’s shut them all up.’
‘We were having the best time of our bachelorhood and were together. We were thinking of marriage for two or three years, but somehow it kept getting delayed,’ says Manoj.
Manoj Bajpayee, Shabana Raza and their daughter Ava Nayla. (Photo: Manoj Bajpayee/Instagram)
Whatever be the reason, none of the two marriages could give Manoj family happiness in the way they wanted, basically the fun and frolic associated with the traditional Indian weddings. ‘Whenever Maa visited Bhaiyya in Mumbai, she asked him to get married. “When she is the one taking care of everything, from the kitchen to the laundry, then you should marry her,” she would tell him. But Bhaiyya always deflected the question. One day he said that they been married in the court of law,’ says Poonam.
It was somewhere around 2004.
Religion didn’t remain important in Manoj and Shabana’s wedding. Bollywood, anyway, is known for being a cultural melting pot. It’s a different thing that prejudices and upbringing impact the decision-making of such a couple. Manoj and Shabana passed this test with flying colours, thanks to their maturity and love for each other.
‘We have our own set of religious beliefs and practices, but we don’t interfere in each other’s methods and faith,’ says Shabana.
Manoj Bajpayee: The Definitive Biography
(This is an excerpt from Manoj Bajpayee: The Definitive Biography, written by Piyush Pandey, and published by Penguin Random House India)
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