Abhay Deol, who is gearing up for the release of his upcoming film, Bun Tikki, also starring Zeenat Aman and Shabana Azmi, in one of his recent Instagram posts, spoke about growing up as an under-confident individual, who was bullied in his childhood. “I was quite the under confident, under achieving, bullied child. No one had any expectations of me and neither did I inspire confidence from anyone. But that’s the beauty of life, anything is possible, so don’t stop learning,” read an excerpt from his post, which accompanied a radiant photo of the actor posing alongside the cast of Bun Tikki and direct Faraz Arif Ansari
After making his debut with Socha Na Tha, and working in films like Dev D, Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!, Manorama Six Feet Under, among others, at 47, Abhay makes no bones about his struggles with being bullied and hating fame. “The fame was at a different level. I mean, I was a kid in the ’80s. Before the advent of technology and travel and knowledge and access to a whole world of entertainment. And so the kind of celebrity worship at the time, I saw that with my uncle [Dharmendra]. And then when bhaiyya [Sunny Deol] was launched in the early ’80s, I saw the crazy fame around him,” he told Dirty Magazine in a recent interview.
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The actor, who is born into the family of actors and stars, such as his uncle Dharmendra, aunt Hema Malini and cousins, Sunny Deol and Bobby Deol, also opened up about the challenges up being a Doel and how the fame of being Dharmendra’s nephew put the spotlight on him at a very early age in school, which he detested. Abhay’s father, Ajit Deol was also an actor, director and producer.
“Yeah, I never liked going to school and being asked personal questions about the family, people were always talking,” said Abhay, adding that teachers at his school would be “extremely nice” to him because of his surname. “Others would be particularly bad with me because of it. Just depended on the individual and what they thought of celebrity,” he reminisced. The bullying and unnecessary attention made Abhay hate fame.
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Abhay, during an interview with Mashable India, had shared that because he saw fame up close as a child, he didn’t like it because it kind of invaded his privacy. “A lot is written about you. I used to literally hate fame and the media,” said Abhay, adding, “Mujhe malum tha ki yeh fayda uthane ke liye aaye hain (I knew they are just around to take advantage),” he said. Abhay added he was “ready to defend” himself when he entered the industry. “I was guarded.”
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The actor, who often shares his unfiltered thoughts and experiences on his social media handle, in his interview with the magazine, also stressed that while he tries to post positive things by keeping his Instagram “happy and fluffy”, he ensures that he gives his fan a reality check. “I thought once in a while it’s good to remind people that it’s okay if you’ve gone through this experience, you’re not alone. When you see someone in my position whom you perceive as successful and happy, to then hear them say ‘hey actually I’m just as human as you’ is a reminder that you can overcome it too. But only once in a while — I don’t want to be that person who’s vulnerable because it feeds my ego,” said Abhay. He also spoke about people seeking therapy, working on generational trauma.
“You know a lot of people now talk about working on their traumas in therapy, understanding what brought them to this point, but so much of our trauma is also passed down to us by our parents,” he added.
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While he may have hated fame and his celebrity status in the beginning of his career, which made people think of him as “arrogant,” Abhay said he he has finally learnt to “deal with the attention”. “It wasn’t that I wanted to be arrogant, I just didn’t know how to deal with the attention. It took me a while to figure that one out. I’m enjoying celebrity status a lot more now, and accepting that I am famous. People love me. It’s a unique life to be a celebrity. The problems are unique but so are the perks. It balances out,” he shared.
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