Actor Shekhar Suman, who is currently seen in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Heeramandi, recently spoke about the darkest chapter of his life, when he experienced the heartbreaking loss of his elder son Aayush, who succumbed to a rare disease at the age of 11. Shekhar revealed that despite his son’s critical condition, a director called him for a shoot. He recounted how his son desperately clung to his hand, pleading with him not to leave. Shekhar also shared that after his son’s passing, he had a loss of faith, and discarded all the religious idols at his home.

In an interview with Connect FM Canada,  Shekhar remembers holding Aayush, praying for a miracle. He said, “But miracles don’t happen.” The actor recalled a time when a director requested him to shoot when his son was suffering tremendously. He said, “One day it was raining heavily and Aayush was very ill. The director, knowing my child’s serious condition, requested me to come for a shoot for two-three hours, and I said, I can’t.  He said, ‘Please it will be a big loss for me’, and I agreed. When I was about to leave, Aayush held my hand and said, ‘Papa, don’t go today, please’. I let go of his hand and promised him I’ll be back in a jiffy. That was that moment I can never forget.”

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Shekhar said that after Aayush’s passing, he had a loss of faith. He said that after the tragedy, he shut down the temple in his house. He said, “All the idols were taken away and thrown outside. The temple was closed. I said that I will never go to the God who gave me so much pain, hurt me so much, took the life of a beautiful, innocent child.” Shekhar said that Aayush’s suffering became so pronounced that his wife would pray for him to be taken away. He said that he still hasn’t recovered from the loss, and thinks of Aayush throughout every day.

The actor had previously shared how a period of struggle intensified when he learned in 1989 that his son was terminally ill. It felt like the end for him — his career, his life, his family, everything. He spent each day holding his son, knowing that one day he would be gone. In an interview with Entertainment Live, the actor revealed that when he was informed about his son’s rare disease, the doctors gave a timeline of eight months. He said “But he lived for four years, not eight months.”

 

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Shekhar revealed that he took his son to London for treatment, but declined a heart transplant due to the risks. He felt helpless, especially considering his father’s medical expertise. Despite consulting top doctors globally and turning to Buddhism for support, Shekhar realised that miracles don’t happen.

The actor can currently be seen in the Netflix series Heeramandi, which also stars his other son, Adhyayan Suman.

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