Actor Janhvi Kapoor said that from a very young age, she would be terrified of losing her parents and would often worry herself into the night when they went out for dinners or trips. She said that she would also sneak into their bedroom when they were asleep, to check if they were breathing. Janhvi is the daughter of film producer Boney Kapoor and the late screen icon Sridevi, who passed away in 2018. In a new interview, Janhvi said that she hasn’t yet come to terms with her mother’s death, but deals with the loss by devoting herself to work.

Appearing on Ranveer Allahbadia’s podcast, she was shown a picture of herself as a young child, and asked what kind of person she was back then. Janhvi said, “It’s funny, but I was always paranoid about losing my parents, even at that age. Every time they’d go out at night for an event, or travel for a day without me… Even small things, like they’re shopping at duty free and I’ve boarded the plane with my nanny, I’d always be like, ‘They’re not going to board the flight, they’re not going to come back home’. I’d wake up at night and sometimes go into their room to check if they were breathing. There was a weird paranoia.”

Also read – Janhvi Kapoor reveals she became more religious, superstitious after Sridevi’s death; admits she still hasn’t accepted her mother’s absence: ‘I think she’s travelling’

Janhvi said that as she’s grown older, her maternal instincts are becoming more prominent. She said that she respects the Indian tradition of taking care of your parents as they age. “After a certain age, they become our kids. I know that I will give my father a lot more allowances to maybe not be there emotionally for me in a way that I assumed a father should be there, just because I know now it’s my time to be there for him.” Janhvi said that she is ‘borderline obsessed’ with her dad, and that she and her sister, Khushi Kapoor, often ‘mother’ each other.

“I think we’re too hard on our parents. Everyone’s f**ked up because of their parents, no one has it right. But they’re also messed up because of their parents. No one has followed a handbook, so you need to forgive yourself and forgive them. Just give them love and be there,” she said. Janhvi will next be seen in the romantic sports drama Mr & Mrs Mahi, co-starring Rajkummar Rao.

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