We are often told not to think about our past, fearing it might hold us back. After all, living in hindsight is always rosier than dealing with the present. The past has always been a source of misery as well as comfort for me. But some life events – broken friendships, the inevitable challenges of aging parents, and the overarching responsibilities of relationships – compelled me to reassess the present.
After years of consciously sidestepping my past, I unexpectedly found a mirror of my experience in Shailaja Desai, a character brought to life by Shefali Shah in Avinash Arun Dhaware’s The Three Of Us. Shailaja, a woman teetering on the edge of dementia, visits the small town of her childhood years, and the friends she had fought hard to forget during her bustling life in Mumbai.
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Erasing them from memory for years was a choice she made, but when circumstances swiftly strip her of that choice, panic sets in, driving her back to her roots. It’s a journey many of us contemplate but rarely take. She revisits her old town not just to meet friends and touch spaces that shaped her, but to retrace her steps and rediscover the true self she lost in the relentless march of life. A scene between Shailaja and her husband Dipankar, played by Swanand Kirkire, who is baffled at seeing a new version of his wife, deftly explains her mindset. She says, “Jis Shalija ko tum yaha mile ho mein bhi usse Shalija to dhoodne aai hu (The Shailaja you are meeting here, I am also searching for her).”
Swanand Kirkire and Shefali Shah in a still from The Three Of Us.
There is a child-like innocence that Shefali lends to Shailaja in the film. She looks at spaces with wonder. When she meets her friends, she speaks like a coy teenage girl she once was with them. At first, her mannerisms seem odd, but later you understand her fear and helplessness when she breaks down after watching young girls perform Bharatnatyam in the same dance school where she once mastered the art. Joining them in an attempt to showcase her skills, she soon realises she has forgotten the steps.
This moment in particular left a lump in my throat because of its deep resonance. Like most women, Shailaja got so busy perfecting the roles of a wife, daughter, and employee, that she inadvertently forgot her own identity. In those young women, she sees the girl she neglected over the years and one she is on the verge of completely forgetting.
Set against the backdrop of a seemingly mundane small townin Konkan, a character in its own right, The Three Of Us explores the myriad emotions of an adult life. From revisiting the cramped classroom spaces to meeting old friends, facing ghosts of the past and getting closure on lost love, the film weaves a tapestry of experiences without making it overtly sentimental. The emotions are there, you can see them in the actor’s eyes or feel them in long pauses in-between shots, but they are never imposed on the audience.
What makes The Three Of Us unique and oddly satisfying is its adherence to reality. It’s a very secure film, just like its characters. Shailaja meeting his old flame Pradeep Kamat, played by Jaideep Ahlawat, doesn’t cause a sense of alarm for their partners. Questions are raised but the sanctity of the marriage is never questioned. While Dipankar continues to explore her wife’s childhood town with her and her past love, Pradeep’s wife gladly welcomes her husband’s rekindled poetic inspiration after meeting Shailaja.
Jaideep Ahlawat in a still from The Three Of Us.
It’s never easy to write about a film that moves you deeply. Capturing the experience in words is hard enough, but what’s truly frightening is that one might inadvertently give away a glimpse into their own past. It has been 10 years since I left my small town and revisiting it has always been overwhelming. Unsurprisingly, The Three Of Us was the same experience for me.
As the credits rolled, I realised that sometimes, revisiting the past isn’t about dwelling in nostalgia; it’s about reclaiming the fragments of ourselves we left behind. In Pradeep’s poem, he mentions how Shailaja returned to her “udgham,” her beginning. Watching The Three Of Us on Netflix might take you back to yours.
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