Writer-lyricist Javed Akhtar became emotional as he recalled the starvation that he experienced as a struggler in the film industry. He said that after a point, hunger blurs the lines between man and animal, and that he often looks at the lavish spreads that he is presented with now, and wonders how valuable they might have been when he hadn’t had a meal in days.
In an interview with Barkha Dutt for Mojo Story, Javed was asked about his complicated relationship with his father, and if he remembers what happened when he was forced onto the streets. “I remember the minutest detail,” he said, adding, “I feel very thankful for life, instead of getting sad about it, or feeling victimised or persecuted, I feel very thankful to life.”
He continued, “So often, in the mornings… I live by the sea, I can only see the ocean from my windows. I sit there, and they bring breakfast on a trolley. I feel like maybe I’m a part of some drama, that all this doesn’t belong to me. And I feel so thankful to life. Look! I have so much food, I can eat. I sit at my dining table many times, when I finish eating, I see so much food is still there. And I feel if I could’ve gotten just one dish, that daal, or that sabzi, that night when I was so hungry, how much I would have enjoyed it.”
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The veteran writer was overcome by emotion at this point, as he teared up remembering his past. “On one hand, I do remember those tough days, but on the other hand, I feel extremely thankful, because there must be crores and crores of people who suffered the way I suffered, but they were not rewarded or compensated.” Asked if there were days when he didn’t have food to eat, he said, “Oh, what a question. Many times.” He was then asked what he’d do in those moments, and he said wryly, “When you don’t have anything to eat, you don’t do anything. Actually, it’s very interesting. Suppose you haven’t eaten anything since morning, and you go to somebody’s house, and they’re sitting at the dining table, and they say, ‘Aaiye khana kha lijiye (Come, eat with us)’, and spontaneously many times it has happened, I’ve said, ‘Nahi, kha ke aaya hoon (No, I just ate)’. If they came to know that I was dying of starvation, that would be very shameful.”
Javed said that nowadays, he feels entitled to walk into his friends’ homes and demand food, but those days, he’d kick himself for turning down meals. “There are two-three moments which have traumatised me very badly; that trauma has remained with me. To be hungry for two days, three days, it’s traumatic. On the third day, there is no difference between a human being and a dog. All your sense of dignity, your self respect, it becomes so vague. The only thing that you know is that you’re hungry.”
Asked what he felt most hurt by, the fact that he didn’t have food or the fact that his father was alive but chose not to help him. He said with a laugh, “On the third day, you don’t remember father, you remember only food.” Javed Akhtar is often regarded as one of the finest film writers that the country has ever produced, and is credited with having co-written and penned some of the most iconic Hindi films and songs.
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