In a change of pace on the What the Hell Navya podcast, which usually deals with women’s issues, host Navya Naveli Nanda invited her brother, actor Agastya Nanda, to get a male perspective about masculinity. Of course, regular guests Jaya Bachchan and Shweta Bachchan Nanda were also a part of the episode, and they chimed in as well about how the idea of masculinity has changed over the years. Navya’s grandfather, Amitabh Bachchan, has long been regarded as an icon of masculinity in Indian pop-culture.
Navya said that her brother is an unusually sensitive person – more sensitive than her – and cries openly. She invited conversation around ‘toxic masculinity’, which has become a hot topic recently because of certain trends in society and cinema. Agastya said that ‘intent’ is the most important thing behind any action, because if a man holds a door open for a women out of kindness, it’s acceptable, but if he does it out of a sense of superiority, it could be problematic.
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Navya said, “Especially after feminism, and women feeling more empowered now, a lot of things they want to do independently. For example, today, if you take a girl out on a date, and you offer to pay, some people get offended by that. Because women feel that they are equally…” Jaya interjected, “How stupid of those women. You should let the men pay.”
Navya asked her mother and grandmother if they’ve noticed any difference in how men used to be when they were younger as compared to what they’re like now, and Shweta said, “There was always that thing that a man has to be strong and silent. Even when you’re dating, you’re waiting for the guy to come up to you, the guy to propose.” Jaya added, “I would like that. It’s better for a man to propose, I’d be very awkward.”
About chivalry, Agastya added, “If you say, ‘I would love to pay for this meal’, it’s not going to come across the wrong way because you’re doing it out of kindness, not because you think you’re ‘the provider’. It’s the intent.” ‘Good manners,’ Jaya said, is often the difference between being chivalrous and toxic. In an earlier episode of the podcast, Jaya said that “bad manners would be a big red flag” for her in a relationship.
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